Before you do anything on this list you need to truly assess your relationship and don’t try to get back with someone who was toxic. Someone who is capable of a mutual, non-toxic relationship is the sort of person you should apply this article to. If your relationship didn’t work, but you realize it could have if issues were addressed and remedied, keep reading.
1. Give Them Time And Space
First and foremost it is important that you give them the space that they need. If you force them to re-enter a relationship of some sort with you too early, then you run the risk of pushing them even further away.
Sam from Get Her Back Guide (or him/them) will tell you that calling them continuously, crying, begging for them back – all of these ways we desperately try to reach out when we are hurt – count against a future relationship. Texting and calling constantly is not a good idea.
Giving your ex time and space allows both of you the time you need to think about and reassess the relationship. The most important part about this is that it gives them time to miss you and realize if they want to be with you or not. Refusing to leave their life will irritate them and count against the possibility of a future relationship.
Time and space, regardless of who did the breaking up, allows for them to remember the good times and what they enjoyed most about your relationship together and to truly miss you.
It is also a good time for you to reflect on everything else. It shouldn’t come as a shock that your ex might not be “The One” and that there were differences that really are inconsolable, and that you really can’t work together.
2. Apply the No Contact Rule
This one is a little bit difficult, especially if you were together for a long time. The end of a long-term relationship is really hard to accept, especially when you suddenly stop talking to someone who has been a part of your life for years and they have your entire support system.
This goes beyond just giving the other person space. You can give your ex space and still talk to them occasionally, but the no contact rule means cutting them out completely for a period of time and removing yourself from things that remind you of them all the time. It is beneficial to both of you.
This gives you the space to start building your life without your ex and enables you to refocus your attention on yourself and what you need. It is tough to lose a good person, but you don’t need to be constantly reminded of it every time they post on social media. Fixating on this is unhealthy for you and being obsessed with your ex is even worse than missing them.
If you are hoping to potentially get back with your ex in the future, go the no contact route. Save their details, but don’t text them for a while and mute their profiles on social media.
3. Spend Time With Friends And Family
There was a time before you and your ex. You had a network of friends and family that you spent time with. It is time to rebuild those relationships. Take back your identity.
Refocus your attention on strengthening these bonds rather than fixating on your break-up. This can help boost your self-confidence. It is important that you boost your confidence as your self-esteem gets quite drained after a break-up. Build yourself back up before reattempting to enter into a relationship with your ex.
Become you again. Sometimes all your relationship needs is a reset to get both of you back to the people you were when you fell in love in the first place.
4. Get A Hobby
Take up a healthy hobby to fill the void. This can be something you did before, or something completely new. Focus your attention and emotions on something positive and productive that makes you feel good. This gives you something you can control, boosting your confidence and helping you heal.
5. Start Dating Again
This is a really important step. After a break up you can feel like no one else will ever be good enough. When you are ready to start dating other people it is an indication that you are healed enough to start dating.
If you date other people and realize that your ex is still the best person for you, then slowly start to move back towards them. You should always try to date to connect, but you need to remember that your happiness isn’t reliant on others.
So there you go. This is a healthy way to get back with your ex.